Helping Kids Learn Independence, Accountability, and Resiliency
By: Aaron Locks, NAofA Founder and CEO
Sometimes the most valuable thing we can do for our kids is nothing at all. As parents, we often feel the need to shield our children from failure or step in when things get difficult. However, helping children learn to fail and get back up again—helping kids learn independence, accountability, and resiliency—can be one of the most critical life lessons they will ever experience.
When kids face challenges and are given the space to navigate them independently, they begin to build resilience and problem-solving skills. They learn that failure is not the end, but a stepping stone toward growth. These moments of struggle teach them that success isn’t about avoiding failure—it’s about learning to recover from it.
Equally important is helping our kids take responsibility for their actions. Accountability fosters maturity and a sense of ownership over their decisions. It encourages them to think critically about the consequences of their choices and how they affect others. By giving children the freedom to make mistakes and be accountable, we’re not just teaching them life skills, but also empowering them to develop the confidence and independence they’ll need to thrive in adulthood.
In a world where instant gratification is the norm, letting kids experience hardship, failure, and accountability is perhaps one of the greatest gifts we can give them.
In my journey as an athlete, parent, coach, official, and sports administrator I have seen just about everything when it comes to youth sports. The lessons that kids learn from playing on a team are so incredibly valuable. With that being said, I am finding more and more that parents are becoming more of a challenge, a roadblock and not trusting the process. If parents allow the youth sports journey to be their kids’ journey, allow them to not be the best on the team, yet still play. Allow them to be placed on the “B” team, without excuses, and enjoy that season, our kids will learn a couple of very valuable lessons.
First is that life is not fair. Not everything in life is going to just drop in their lap and when something does not go their way, their parent will not step in to fix it, rather the child will have the chance to learn to navigate through, deal with, and thrive from the experience.
As a parent and grandparent, we all want our kids to be successful. I also know that with my kids, the ability for me to let them figure it out, win or lose the lesson, the experience was tenfold more valuable, and in the end, it helped prepare them to be more healthy and successful in the real game… LIFE.
